i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
