need another drink. this is the easiest way
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
