And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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