she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
