just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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