Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
