You can't motorboat a personality
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
