I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
