Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
