so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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