Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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