OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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