the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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