the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
