Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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