I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
