fuck your aforementioned shoe
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
