im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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