it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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