I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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