Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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