i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
