Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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