just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
