And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
