Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
