Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize