I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
