Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
