census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
