I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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