a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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