Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
