You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
