My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize