You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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