It's Friday. Sex?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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