Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
