Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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