so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
