just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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