I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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