oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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