So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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