Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
