The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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