He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she smelled like a LAN party
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize