She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Bring me that man meat
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
