i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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