Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
