Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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