hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
