The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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