My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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