You work out of a Hotel?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
