Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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