I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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