i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
