Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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