from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
