I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no you cant smoke seaweed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
