I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
