maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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