I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
