That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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