morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize