but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
