Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
