what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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